What a liar she was, she thought, despairing. The wind blew a gust of salt spray into her face she had to hang on to the rail with both hands to keep her balance. If he did, could she take it from him, even on the basis of a loan? Perhaps, but she would much rather make a clean break. Would Devon lend her money? she wondered. A place where she could live cheaply while she waited out the nine months until her twenty-first birthday, when she would come into her tiny inheritance. If he would not take her in, she must find another place. What would she do, then? Where would she go? She’d thought she would have heard from Soames by now it had been over a month since she’d written to him.

“Mistress,” as she had always known but lately had chosen to ignore, was only a euphemism for choosy whore. And she had made up her own mind that she would not be his mistress. For although he would be relieved to know she wasn’t really a housemaid, she doubted that that knowledge would be enough to change his mind about marrying her. The first two would be bad enough, but it was the last she wasn’t sure she had the strength to face. She was going to tell Devon who she was, and what she would and would not do, and then be prepared to take the consequences. Impulsive behavior had only brought her trouble in the past a few hard lessons had taught her she could no longer afford to indulge in it. She already knew what she was going to do, but she wanted to think it out one last time. She was alone, solid rock behind her, nothing but the vast sea and sky in front. A good night for making decisions, Lily thought as she stood at the bottom of the winding cliff steps and watched the incoming tide inundate the last foot of dry sand at her feet. The southern wind blew in from the sea, buffeting the shore in violent gusts that tore at her hair and twisted her skirts around her legs.

Afterward, she’d stayed in her room all day, brooding. Lily had heard them leave in the morning, but this time she hadn’t gotten up to watch from the window. Wondering what in the world they were going to do.ĮLIZABETH AND ALICE WERE gone. They clung to each other for a long time, not speaking, offering their bodies for comfort. She couldn’t say “I love you” again it hurt them both too much.

Wild at Heart by Patricia Gaffney